☀️Suns out, sons out. An ode to my husband

Voting in Canada during the opening hours of the first day of early voting

Just a little more than 7 years ago, I wished to meet the man I would spend the rest of my life with. At around the same time, separately in his own life, so did he. We wished for our then separate paths to intertwine. Not in a subsuming way, but in a braid reminiscent of the ability of sweetgrass to retain it’s form while interwoven. Like water, its flows and bends to adapt and respond just to being here, existing.

My husband to be worked across the street from me before we met, so we definitely were already in orbit of each other. We were destined to be together. I believe this in my core. So many things in my life have underlined this point.

But we also could have never met. Quite easily in fact. Just as there are so many synchronistic things that brought us together, there are a surprising number of precarious obstacles that could have kept us apart. We were both breech babies. From our first breaths we were sons that in another time would never have made it or might have even taken our Mom’s out with us. A single decision in my life whether to change cities for my career would have kept us apart and unlikely to have even met. The usual timing factor had to apply where we both were at the right places in our lives emotionally and available.

This world right now is insane. Chaos, cruelty and less and less hope. There’s no avoiding this truth. We do awful things when we are afraid. I had to disconnect. I had to retreat. But I have a sanctuary to retreat to. My heart aches for everyone who feels unsafe right now or in danger because of their sanctuary. Everyone deserves a place to call home in their life and heart.

I am so thankful every day I found mine. This is a love song to my husband who gave my heart a home in a new city where I was stuffing my loneliness with food. Now we have a family with his mom, her two sons as she calls us, and our two cats. That anyone would question whether we have the capacity to love or the right influence on others still seems ridiculous right now and I’m thankful for that. But let me ask you this. What if we were trans. What if we didn’t live in Canada? There’s still time to ask these questions and act.